I’ve been considering giving you space to live rent-free in my head, because, if not, why not?
I doubt you’d believe the number of blog entries I’ve completed in my head and even made a physical design for but never got around to writing. 😂
There’s “Springing”, “Tete-a-tete”, “beautiful nothings”, and “siblings”. I’m not sure which of the four of them I’m going to write to you just yet, but before the end of this writeup we’ll know. Lol.
As an aside, I love how we’re at this beautiful place that I can write my heart to you without filters. I want to ask how you are, but as you rarely reply my mails, I guess we’ll just skip to the good part, yay? Lol. Okay.
So, last week I thought to write to you about this thing, sharing. Yes, that’s what. I still have the draft of it, probably I’ll get around to sharing it in a bit, it’s an entry about how helpful sharing your process is. I just didn’t have energy to write it as it was in my head. Lol.
On 28th May, world menstrual hygiene day, I wrote an entire entry (in my head, of course) to you about dealing with amenorrhoea for 7 years. It was too “somehow” (lol) so I didn’t publish. I thought about you reading it and probably feeling sorry for me, but that’s the last thing I want you to feel right now.
Two days ago, I remembered a story from Senior high school, it was a rare and really emotional memory. All the good stuff, dear, all the good stuff! I was washing my face in the bathroom when I remembered it. Again, after processing, I binned it in my head.
(I think I have a lot of flashbacks when I’m either washing my face, or doing the dishes. Maybe, it has something to do with the water, what do you think? Actually, I once listened to a podcast where someone shared how we are all connected by the water in the universe, you know how water is never lost. It’s always recycled. The whole clouds-to-rain thing? Yay, that! So, she said the same water we use today might as well be the water Jesus drank, that has been recycled 100 times by nature, and how this water could contain the wisdom of a person, don’t ask me how. Lol. Okay? I know! Weird, anyways, let’s get back to our gist biko. Lol.)
Four days ago, I was taking down clothes from the drying rope and wondering why my cousin acted in a certain way (he used a certain washing technique my mother always called wrong) and I had this whole conversation, in my head, about how we may think what we know is the right thing for 1000 years until it is not. Lol. Sad reality.
This may be totally unrelated, but in my opinion, no perspective is absolutely good and none is absolutely bad. There is only truth and lie. Perspectives are always influenced by emotions and situations, but truth is what it is.
So, my phone is acting weird, closing apps and making this journal experience really tiring If you have ever had a mobile phone with space issues I’m sure you can relate. I’m guessing I need a device with 1009gb. I’ll do a phone cleanse later today and make another entry where I complete this thought process because typing is like war rn. Lol.
Till I write to you again, I hope you find peace at every moment of this season.
I love writing to you because I’m selfish. Lol. This was detox routine for me. I feel a lot better now. Yet, I hope you can find home in these words. I really hope you do.
I love you. And yay, I decided to label this entry “beautiful nothings”. 😊