What if?

Owo mi. (My person), it’s 1:30am in Uyo, (yes oh, I’m still in Uyo) and I’m wondering—just like you probably are, if you’re reading this entry now— why I cannot sleep.

I have some plausible reasons, and one of them will be having a late dinner, eba (garri) and soup, sponsored by inordinate food lust.

The same eba that has caused this 2-month old pregnancy, aka belly fat, staring at me as I type.

The same eba that I intended to combat with my daily workout, but fear…

Yes, this is the crux of this entry; my fear. Now, hold this thought, lemme take you somewhere else.

Some three months ago I noticed an accumulation of belly fat, and being a slim human, who is neither busty, hip-sy or butt-sy, belly fat makes me amoebic, but a cute amoeba, because I am Geejay, yunno, and GJ is always cute, but away from this vanity.

I decided, then, to begin workouts, so I downloaded an app I loved, got started and I saw tremendous results. Life’s good nau, we’re cruising, abs are already showing, until my monthly flow came with some irregularities and I had to visit the doctor, do a few tests and all.

I knew I had stop the exercises if I hoped to get well anytime soon, so i did. The exercises were strenous and though my body seemed to love it, my reproductive system was bleeding.

So, here I am, some months later, torn between resuming less-strenuous exercises, because belly fat must be burnt, and the fear that I may have yet another visit to the doctor. Mehn! Hard stuff.

And this is why I’m writing to you, because I’m starting again today. I’m writing to encourage you to face that fear afraid. Yes, please. 18 days are much more than can be wasted on regrets.

Stop saying “what if?” and start saying “and if not…”

I’m exhausted, my darling. I will write to you tomorrow.

Yours, GJ. ♥️

Emem ye ifure.

Gutters and bacteria crossing

So, today I brought some premium gist, but before I serve you, amma tell you some side-gist, just because you’re my guy.

So, whilst in junior high school, (I attended a same-sex school for junior year and coeducational for senior year) we had this teacher, female, who taught us that crossing gutters caused UTIs (urinary tract infections) because as you opened your legs to cross the gutter, the bacteria would diffuse into your v-baby (vagina). Ridiculous, right? But, we believed her.

For years I never crossed a gutter, because I didn’t want bacteria in my v-baby. Until the day I met a gutter with no slab, there was no other way around it, and I had to cross to the other side of the road. After weighing my options for a few minutes, guy, I forgot about v-baby and jumped.

To Jesus be my glory for I did not come down with a UTI, (lol) but there’s an even better reason why—because UTIs are not contracted by gutter crossing.

The simplest and easiest way to contract a UTI is by wiping your nether regions from back to front instead of front to back. Lemme tell you why.

Before I tell you why, I’ll tell you what.

UTIs are a family of infections that affect the urinary tract, made up of your kidneys, where urine is produced, ureters, tubes that take the urine out of the kidney, bladder where urine is stored, and the urethra which helps you to void.

Now, to the “why.”

The large intestine houses several bacteria, the commonest of them being Escherichia Coli (code name, E. Coli), a very badt guy, implicated in most UTIs.

How does it pass from large intestine to the urinary tract? Via the anus. Understand that the digestive tract is directly linked to your anus, food you eat is disposed of by poop; and the urinary tract is directly linked to your external sex organ, vagina/penis as the case may be.

When we excrete/poop, we release E. Coli in excreta. When we wipe, we can help E. Coli find free access to our urinary tract (especially females) by wiping from back to front.

It is advised that we wipe from front to back so E. Coli stays in its place. At the large intestine, it is not harmful, but if it enters v-baby, wahala dey.

Later, thinking about it, I asked myself why I still believed that bacteria, in the split of seconds I use for gutter crossing can diffuse up to my height, get past the several layers of clothing and enter my v-baby. It’s an adverse effect of mental conditioning sha.

So, that’s it, guys, wipe from front to back and stay safe from UTIs.

Till I write you again, emem ye ifure (peace and serenity).

Xoxo,

Adiaha.

How to curb displaced anger.

This week on #thelittlebigthingsthatmakeushealthy, here’s a tip on anger management. Dig in.

“Gee, I no kno wetin do me today o!” Chinedu muttered over the phone as he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Bro, wetin sup?” Oke asked in reply.
“The same matter wey I hala you that day naw… As I enter house—”
“Party sca–tter.“ Oke cut in.
‘You no dey ever serious for this life’ said Chinedu, hissing loudly.
“Shu, Shu peru. Someone cannot play with you? Is that how you used to do?”
“Until Yinka serves me divorce papers, then you’ll be serious, right?” Chinedu retorted.
Sensing a heightened note of frustration in his friend’s voice, “Spill.” Oke said.
“So, the regional manager came visiting today and despite my efforts to double sales this month, she still found faults in the branch, talking down my efforts and ideas as bull-crap. I wanted to vent, but I couldn’t, because… you know how it is naw.”
“Mmh hmm…” Oke responded.

“Yay, so I thought I had it reined until I got home to meet Bisi baby doodling on the beddings and I lost it. Guy, I legit shouted on my 2-year old for doodling on beddings! What kind of father does that?” He asked rhetorically and continued.

“Yinks came in, shocked; before she could say anything, I walked out on her and a crying baby. I couldn’t take dinner, not with the guilt of what I did sitting in my gut. So, here I am, frustrated, insomnic, and pissed at myself for being so silly again.” He said, face-palming. “Hmm… Mad oh!” Oke replied.

“You don dey craze, abi?” “Nwanne cherem, you know this is an anger hangover caused by displaced anger, right? So, first off, you know you have to apologize to Yinks and talk to her about the office stuff.” “I did.” “Good.”

“But, what do I do if this happens again?”Chinedu asked, to which Oke replied, “Pause. Breathe. Think.”

“Act, stop reacting. Did I say it will be easy? No, but is it worth it? definitely, because displaced anger hurts you and the other person.”

“Overtime it’s easier because it becomes reflexive but you have to commit to doing the work.”

“Thanks man, really. “
“Forward am to Zenith bank, 2208…” “Abegi, komot for here…we go block naw.”

GloryJoseph
Your healthtechie. 

#mental health, #anger, #anger management, #angermanagement, #healthcare, #lifestyle, #yoga, #meditation, #mindfulness.